I haven't written a blog in such a long time because I really just didn't have anything to write about! I'm just living a normal boring life these days. I work at Zion's bank as a teller, which is pretty fun as far as working goes (I just wish I could be rich and play and take adventures and never have to work haha). And besides that I hang out with friends and go running and rock climbing and boating and such. I don't have a lot of pictures to share, but I will put up what I have.
I was inspired to write a blog tonight because I had treatment today. It was a lot of fun. I know it sounds silly, but I think I am going to kind of miss going to the infusion center once or twice a month. I love the nurses there and I love talking to the patients and making people happy when they feel miserable. I brought some candy today because the last few treatments I've gone and just read to myself and haven't visited with people like I used to. So today I brought candy so I could have an excuse to walk around and talk to people. Everyone was excited to have candy or at least excited to have someone come over and smile at them so big and tell them to have a fun awesome day :) One lady come up to me after I'd sat back down and began to cry and told me thank you so much for having such a bright positive attitude and that I really made her day. I loved it. I love things like that. It makes me so happy to see that I can make others happy. I also made a new friend today!! Her name is Tami and she has colon cancer and has been going through treatment for THREE AND A HALF YEARS!!!!!! Oh my gosh. I can't even imagine how draining that would be. It would be so incredibly emotionally and mentally draining not to mention physically. She was so much fun to talk to, I love making chemo friends. We talked about how much different cancer patients view life and how stupid petty things don't matter anymore. She was talking about how she had to deal with drama at work and how it just seemed so ridiculous to her when she was just grateful that she even could come to work. I have definitely become a lot more loving and understanding towards others.
As I was driving home I was admiring the mountains and thinking how much I LOVE our mountains here in Utah. When I get to a lookout point on a trail run, I can't help but stop and take in the view. The top of a mountain I have just climbed is probably one of my favorite places to be/see. The view from a mountain that you have just hiked or climbed or ran is soooo much more gorgeous than a view that you get from driving to a lookout point or something. Even if they are the exact same view, you appreciate the grandeur much more when you have accomplished something to get there. It is the same in life. I appreciate things so much more than I ever have before. I'm glad that God knows what he is doing with me. He definitely has got an amazing plan in store for me. I would never have chosen this path for myself, but I'm glad he knew better than me :) Why is it that parents always know best?
People always ask how I'm feeling. Even now, even seven months out of chemotherapy. No offense, but it seems like a silly question to me. I also don't really like when people tell me "Wow, you look so good!" As if I'm supposed to look like a sick weak person just because I had cancer? I know I know that no one means it like that and I don't really get offended, but I do get tired of hearing that. So....just tell me that you like my hair or just don't comment on how I look :) And if you do, I'll forgive you and know that you just care about me and are happy to see me looking healthy and not like a cancer zombie dead sick person.
But....to answer how I'm feeling since everyone always asks me, I feel great and normal like a normal person. I am not back to 100% myself yet, but I am comparing my 100% to when I was a collegiate athlete, so obviously I still have a way to go. I am still weak, but I've been rock climbing and slowly, very very slowly, I am getting a little stronger. My endurance has vastly improved this last month! I have been doing 9 mile runs about once or twice a week and one day I did a 10.5 mile run at an 8:15/mile pace!!! It was amazing and so fun. I still would like to get faster, but I know it will come in time. My goal is to get back to a 18:30 5k by next year sometime :) I would be sooooo happy if I could do that. On the 24th of July I did the Deseret News 10k. It has been a tradition for me to do it ever year with my dad since I was 12. I've only missed one or two years. Last year I couldn't do it because I was still recovering from surgery. This year I ran it in 42:40 :) I was so happy. I obliterated my goal of 45 minutes. I didn't really know what to expect because I haven't really had a real race since over a year ago. So it was very encouraging and exciting.
|Me and my friend Joey Plaskett. It was his first 10k ever and he ran it in 38 minutes! An awesome training partner, he's definitely made me faster and helped me push myself again.|
|Inside the cave at the top of the mountain we hiked to. It got pretty narrow and it was FREEZING inside. Like 32 degrees. There was ice. Brrrr.|
One of my best friends from camp had to go to MD Anderson in Houston for a scan and possible surgery about a month ago. She was nervous because this is a recurrence of her cancer. I made her a care package and I was so excited to send it :) You know those presents you just can't wait to give people? This was one of those times. I made her a Build-a-Bear and put in her favorite candy and cereal and some things to help pass the time while she was there. She lives in Tennessee so she had to stay at the hospital for a week. Luckily she doesn't have to get surgery! She just has to do chemo for a while.
I love her :) I love all the friends I met there! Such amazing and inspiring people. They know what really matters in life.
So I also decided that I am moving to Thailand next year because guess what?! I will be done with treatment in NOVEMBER!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! I am so happy and excited! I thought I was going to have to stay on treatment until next July and I was super bummed and really really sad. But my doctor said it'd be dumb to stay on it that long because the side effects are worse than the slight minuscule benefit that we might possibly have by staying on it any longer. So that means I will be free soon! My mom says "No you need to stay and work" Why? Why does society say that? I am 23. I have the REST OF MY LIFE to work. Someday I will probably have a family. I will never be single and young again. Why do I have to stay here and work? I don't. I don't have to do what society expects me to. I can have fun adventures right now. And I'm going to. Probably even as recently as a year and a half ago I would have talked about something like this, but I never would have actually been "irresponsible" enough to do it. But I realize now after what I have experienced in life, that a bucket list should be more than a wish list. How many people actually accomplish very much on their bucket list? Probably next to none. I've accomplished a lot. And I fully intend to do more.
Life is an adventure that is meant to be lived
Adventure: an exciting or unusual experience. A risky undertaking with an uncertain outcome
For my adventures this upcoming month I have planned to do a trail Ragnar race at Snowbasin, spend a week in Lake Powell, do a sprint triathalon and hike King's Peak in two days.
No more rambling. Go, live your dream!
(ten points to anyone who knows what that quote is from!)