Diamond from the Rough

You know the saying that diamonds are just pieces of charcoal that handled pressure extremely well? Well I am planning on becoming one dang beautiful perfect huge sparkly diamond. Yep. That's the plan.

On a side note, I have been way busy and having so much fun! I don't know how anybody has a full time job; how do people have time to socialize and do fun things?? I have the greatest friends and family.

I really hate being cliche so I'm not going to write a whole post about my incredible mom even though she absolutely deserves it! But I will give her a little shout out. I have such an awesome mother. She takes such great care of me and does SO much for me. She has helped me so much, especially lately. She was the most amazing care-giver any cancer patient could ever ask for and she continues to spend so much time doing things for me. This year I gave her a really special Mother's Day present. My uncle Dave Despain (pianist for The Salamanders...awesome band, you should check them out on Facebook) helped me record a CD for my mom of a bunch of her favorite songs! I played viola and he accompanied me on piano. It was so much fun and turned out amazing. It was really fun to give it to her :) We did songs from Phantom of the Opera, Les Misreable, Sound of Music, some church hymns, etc. This is the picture I put on the cover :) She was patient with me for so long as a kid, forcing me to practice and making me stick with it. I'm so glad she did! Thank you Mom for teaching me not to give up. It's a lesson I've definitely needed in my life.

The best Mother's Day present for all of us was getting to talk to our missionary Josh! He is doing so well. He has grown up a lot and is so responsible and happy and outgoing. It was really fun getting to talk to him. He is serving in the Anaheim California mission and is currently located in the Yorba Linda area. Such a stud.

So Friday it rained. I love the rain. Like really truly LOVE the rain. It was the most perfect kind of rain there is. The sun was still shining through the clouds, it was warm, and there was a beautiful vibrant rainbow shining the whole time. It was a lovely evening at the park. I'm grateful for rainbows. I know that they are God's way of telling us that everything is going to be okay. I know that everything IS going to be okay.

I took this on my phone at the park.

I got to go dirt-biking with my dad and brother at a motocross track in North Salt Lake. It is super fun to go to because there are huge jumps. I forgot how much I like to dirtbike. It's been a really long time since I went!

I also got to go to the Tulip Festival at Thanksgiving Point. It was pretty! 

One night I even went rock climbing! It was awesome. By the end I thought my arms were going to fall off. I couldn't even grab the rocks anymore. I wish it was cheaper to do it because it is so much fun. I need to find someone that will take me in the outdoors that already has equipment ;)

Everyone was pooped.....especially Zack :) hahaha. We all felt like he looks.

My cousin Rachel graduated in Psychology from the University of Utah!!! Yay! We got to go to her graduation and out to dinner at Taggart's after. Graduating is the best. No more school! At least for a while....

Apparently Taggart's has a peacock theme. Never seen a peacock in real life so close before!

And this is my awesome Aunt Debbie. I am going to visit her in Las Vegas this weekend, I am SOOO excited. Hot sunny days by the pool and nothing to worry about. I can't wait.

This past weekend we went to my dad's lake. It was a perfect day and we had a ton of fun. Koda especially liked it. I guess he likes to swim :) Such a cute little bugger.

He's getting real big. I love him. And Koda and Gizmo are starting to get along better now. They even snuggled on the couch tonight.

One of the coolest things I've done lately was get to see Cassadee Pope in concert! It was a tiny little event with maybe 30 people. We got to meet her after and talk to her and hug her. She is adorable and the nicest person ever! For those of you who have no idea who she is, she won The Voice last season. She played her new music for us and we got to hear the single she's going to release on June 4th on The Voice! It was incredible. My cousin Brittany was dying; it was so fun. Plus I have always wanted to meet a famous person and now I have!

She is seriously so pretty.

And we were totally freaking out. At least I was. Obviously. I'm such a nerd.

I have her SIGNED poster hanging in my closet :)

Also, I have become hooked on Gilmore Girls. It has saved my life. Thank you to Lorelai Gilmore for teaching me how to me social and funny. Her and Rory are the best date night buddies :)

My cousin Brittany let me borrow her whole collection. Like I said, I have awesome friends and family.

Well I know reading about my normal mundane life is pretty boring so here is a cancer related sentence or two. I am feeling pretty good. My hair just keeps growing like a weed, I even think I'm needing a haircut. So if anybody knows a really good hairstylist that can cut short hair well please recommend them to me! I'm scared to just go to anyone. I really want a cute pixie and I'm nervous to have someone ruin it if they aren't good at short hair. I had a cold about 2 weeks ago and it took me a while to recover from that but I think I finally am feeling good again. I've been running and even trying to go to the gym. I guess I have osteoporosis now :/ pretty weird for an (almost) 23 year old, but such is life! I just have to keep lifting weights and running and try to eat healthy!

Zipped Up and Ready to Go

Well, today was my last day before surgery! I have to be to the Huntsman at SIX IN THE MORNING. Holy cow, who do these doctors think they are? At least I won't have to wait around all morning for it. Surgery is at 7:30.

I went for my last run for a couple months this morning. It was a balmy 30 degrees! It was really nice to get out one last time for a while. Sterling has been so awesome and has been running with me every day for a week or two.

Me and my best friend Try

I also got to go to lunch with my family. We ate at Corner Bakery. Then I had to finish up a ton of homework since I am still in online classes. I got it all finished though! Phew, such a relief.

Then I got to have FHE with one of my bestest friends Brooke. Her and her husband came to see our new house. It was fun to catch up.

So.....this is what the doctors are going to lift up my hospital gown and find:

The zipper will go over my current scar, and the dotted lines will go up to my sternum. The two notes say "Don't forget to take pictures!" and "Please don't let me have a colostomy bag!"  

hahaha, I wonder if they will think I am funny or if they will be annoyed because they have to clean it off. I will take a picture of my actually stomach tomorrow, but I didn't want the marker to smear in my sleep. In case you don't know, they are going to be doing a full hysterectomy, removing 2-3 spots on my liver and possibly a spot near my colon. The surgery is scheduled for 7:30am and will last anywhere from 4-6 hours. Well, they told me 4 but I'm sure it will be longer than that.

I am definitely dreading it A LOT more than last time since I know more what to expect this time. It is a lot harder going in knowing how miserable it is! But I also know better what to bring and I am more determined to get out of there fast! I have made it a goal to walk a mile every day, even if it takes me all day to do it. A mile is 12 laps around the hallway so I could go 2 laps every 6 hours.

Wish me luck! Think about me! They are cutting me open all the way to my sternum!!! Yucky :( :(

Puppies, friends, chickens, soccer....

On September 28th, Sterling's birthday we visited the Utah County Animal Shelter. We found this super cute blue heeler puppy and took him outside to play with us. He was so much fun and so soft and he loved playing tug-of-war with me :) I would have loved to get him, but he is going to grow up to be too big for us right now. But he was sure fun to play with!

Now for the REAL puppy.......

This is probably our future puppy!!!!!!!!!!! He is only 2 weeks old in this picture and you can't take them away from their mommies until they are at least 6 weeks. Which will be perfect timing for me to be all recovered from surgery (*fingers crossed*). This litter has four puppies and when they are ready we get first pick. This was our favorite so far, but it could change in 4 more weeks!

These guys are the same type of puppy as the one we will get but they are about 3 months old.

I CANT WAIT TO GET A PUPPY!!!! He's gonna love me soooo much and follow me around and go running with me and snuggle me all day long :) Yay! I have the coolest mom ever that she wants to get him for me. It seems like EVERY single time I get on Facebook I have another friend announcing they are pregnant. Everyone in the world is having kids and all I'm having is a hysterectomy. It sucks. But a puppy will make me sooooo happy :) Yay!!!

I also got the opportunity to play with my friend Cesia! She's so cool and fun and she has chickens!! Chickens are pretty cool and really soft to pet. See how pretty hers are?!

We went to lunch and played with her chickens and then we did the cutest best craft ever!

Look at these amazing pieces of art. Seriously, aren't these incredible? And so perfect. It was really fun and now I have cute Halloween decorations.

On Friday, October 5th I had the amazing opportunity to be part of the UVU soccer team's pink game. Since October is breast cancer awareness month, each team at UVU has a "pink" game where they fund-raise money for a cause or person in the community that needs it. They were so thoughtful as to include me and another awesome girl who has leukemia. I am so lucky to have such an amazing support group. It really makes me feel so loved to have so many people thinking about me. Thank you to the UVU soccer team, you guys really made my night, it was so fun to watch you WIN!!

I got a signed poster and soccer ball from the team and an awesome pink shirt that says "Stronger: Pink for a purpose"

I want people to know how much your support means to me. I don't know how people can make it through cancer treatments without outside help financially and emotionally. Every single donation and every note, comment or email has helped me. Especially as I prepare for surgery again it has been so nice to have people lifting me up. Thank you!

Check back Monday to see my surprise for the surgeons on Tuesday :)

Busy Girl

Sorry I haven't updated the blog all week! I have been so busy it feels like. Wednesday I got to hang out with Cesia again. She's such a good friend, time always flies when we hang out! Thanks for being so willing to drive all the way down to Orem to hang out with me and for always buying me things and being so giving Cesia!

Thursday was an awesome day. A good friend from high school works at Lululemon-cutest running/yoga clothing store EVER. She called me last week and said that they wanted to do something nice for me. So on Thursday I got to go in and choose any short or tank top. They have so many different styles and their clothes are all so freakin cute! I tried on like 10 different outfits and finally decided on some super cute gray/yellow shorts. I love them. they are so comfy and light. As soon as I'm rich, I am decking out in Lululemon gear. And so should you. If you are rich or if you aren't rich but want to be the cutest one at the gym.

modeling my cute Lululemon shorts

Then after Lululemon I went to the Huntsman Center for a free make-up class called Look Good...Feel Better. The Huntsman has such cool resources and so many free classes for cancer patients. I got TONS of really nice free make-up and I learned how to use it all. I was most excited to learn how to draw eyebrows; mine are getting quite patchy and look pretty funny. One of the lamer side effects of losing your hair :( I also learned some cute new ways to tie a scarf and they gave me a free wig! It will be nice to have if I need to go to a job interview or anything, but mostly I feel like a traitor wearing a wig. I mean who am I kidding? I don't have hair, it doesn't look like my hair, why would I pretend to have/be something I'm not?

Another great thing about Thursday night was this:

This rainbow was one of the brightest and fullest rainbows I have ever seen!! I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who sends us such beautiful reminders of his love for us. It really comforted me and gave me peace.

Friday night Sterling and I went on one of the funnest dates ever! We were heading home after a friend's reception and I had the most brilliant idea ever! Walmart Scavenger Hunt! We made a list of 20 things and had to meet back up in 30 minutes. I obviously won so Sterling had to buy me a hot fudge sundae at McDonald's :) It was a super fun night.

My winning ticket

fat lady with a wedgie was one of the items to find haha

Saturday morning I ran in a 5k for Ovarian Cancer. Its called the Susan Sandoval in memory of a nurse that worked at the Huntsman center that passed away from ovarian cancer like 8 years ago or something. It was fun because I finally got to run with my dad and make up for the half marathon that I didn't get to run with him. Me, Sterling, and my mom and dad all ran it together. I only walked one time which is so good for me now! However it is so annoying to keep getting slower and slower at running :( That has been one of the hardest things for me.

After the 5k my mom, Caden, Sterling and I all went to the Utah State Fair! I have never been to the fair so it was really fun. We watched an Olympic Dive show and walked around all the shops and looked at the cool artwork and stuff. We got to see all the prize dairy cows, beef cows, sheep and goats. It was really fun!

we thought this pumpkin was huge....

...and then I saw this one

Anyway, that is my busy week in short summary! Can't wait for the Fallen in Chocolate 5k. So many people have spent countless hours putting it together and it is coming along pretty nice. We are just looking for a few more sponsors and we'll be set to go. Its going to be tons of fun, so make sure to tell everyone you know!

Tomorrow after chemo I will be halfway done with my treatments!!!!! Thursday I will have a PET scan so I should know those results sometime next week.