Life Ain't All That Bad

You think your life is awesome and good and going really great. And then out of no where something really crappy and hard happens and life kind of sucks for a while, and then all the sudden, life is better than you ever imagined and you have suddenly grown a lot and become a new person. Its the one thing you can count on in life....this cycle of happiness and trials and greater happiness and harder trials. I've definitely been through a few in the past year. But right now life is super awesome :) I'd forgotten how happy I could be! I mean I thought I was happy, but now, I am so happy and just love life! I have so many blessings. It's amazing to know myself again. I definitely lost who I was for a while. I've found myself again.

I haven't written a blog in such a long time because I really just didn't have anything to write about! I'm just living a normal boring life these days. I work at Zion's bank as a teller, which is pretty fun as far as working goes (I just wish I could be rich and play and take adventures and never have to work haha). And besides that I hang out with friends and go running and rock climbing and boating and such. I don't have a lot of pictures to share, but I will put up what I have.

I was inspired to write a blog tonight because I had treatment today. It was a lot of fun. I know it sounds silly, but I think I am going to kind of miss going to the infusion center once or twice a month. I love the nurses there and I love talking to the patients and making people happy when they feel miserable. I brought some candy today because the last few treatments I've gone and just read to myself and haven't visited with people like I used to. So today I brought candy so I could have an excuse to walk around and talk to people. Everyone was excited to have candy or at least excited to have someone come over and smile at them so big and tell them to have a fun awesome day :) One lady come up to me after I'd sat back down and began to cry and told me thank you so much for having such a bright positive attitude and that I really made her day. I loved it. I love things like that. It makes me so happy to see that I can make others happy. I also made a new friend today!! Her name is Tami and she has colon cancer and has been going through treatment for THREE AND A HALF YEARS!!!!!! Oh my gosh. I can't even imagine how draining that would be. It would be so incredibly emotionally and mentally draining not to mention physically. She was so much fun to talk to, I love making chemo friends. We talked about how much different cancer patients view life and how stupid petty things don't matter anymore. She was talking about how she had to deal with drama at work and how it just seemed so ridiculous to her when she was just grateful that she even could come to work. I have definitely become a lot more loving and understanding towards others.

As I was driving home I was admiring the mountains and thinking how much I LOVE our mountains here in Utah. When I get to a lookout point on a trail run, I can't help but stop and take in the view. The top of a mountain I have just climbed is probably one of my favorite places to be/see. The view from a mountain that you have just hiked or climbed or ran is soooo much more gorgeous than a view that you get from driving to a lookout point or something. Even if they are the exact same view, you appreciate the grandeur much more when you have accomplished something to get there. It is the same in life. I appreciate things so much more than I ever have before. I'm glad that God knows what he is doing with me. He definitely has got an amazing plan in store for me. I would never have chosen this path for myself, but I'm glad he knew better than me :) Why is it that parents always know best? 

Some pictures from the Teton mountains in Idaho. We spent a weekend there in July for the Bossard family reunion. I love my family. We are so awesome. We went river rafting, hiking and did a mud run 5k at our family reunion. Way cooler than the average family!

People always ask how I'm feeling. Even now, even seven months out of chemotherapy. No offense, but it seems like a silly question to me. I also don't really like when people tell me "Wow, you look so good!" As if I'm supposed to look like a sick weak person just because I had cancer? I know I know that no one means it like that and I don't really get offended, but I do get tired of hearing that. So....just tell me that you like my hair or just don't comment on how I look :) And if you do, I'll forgive you and know that you just care about me and are happy to see me looking healthy and not like a cancer zombie dead sick person.

But....to answer how I'm feeling since everyone always asks me, I feel great and normal like a normal person. I am not back to 100% myself yet, but I am comparing my 100% to when I was a collegiate athlete, so obviously I still have a way to go. I am still weak, but I've been rock climbing and slowly, very very slowly, I am getting a little stronger. My endurance has vastly improved this last month! I have been doing 9 mile runs about once or twice a week and one day I did a 10.5 mile run at an 8:15/mile pace!!! It was amazing and so fun. I still would like to get faster, but I know it will come in time. My goal is to get back to a 18:30 5k by next year sometime :) I would be sooooo happy if I could do that. On the 24th of July I did the Deseret News 10k. It has been a tradition for me to do it ever year with my dad since I was 12. I've only missed one or two years. Last year I couldn't do it because I was still recovering from surgery. This year I ran it in 42:40 :) I was so happy. I obliterated my goal of 45 minutes. I didn't really know what to expect because I haven't really had a real race since over a year ago. So it was very encouraging and exciting.

Me and my friend Joey Plaskett. It was his first 10k ever and he ran it in 38 minutes! An awesome training partner, he's definitely made me faster and helped me push myself again.

Here's some more pictures from the family reunion. We wore hula skirts and leis for the mud run 5k. It was a great idea. Until we had to swim through a river, jump over fire and army crawl through the mud. Then I was cursing that stupid skirt and how heavy it was all wet and muddy and I couldn't get it off! But it was an awesome race. Plus, I was the first girl to finish so I got this AMAZING trophy straight from Africa! Because the money they raise goes to orphans around the world and the race directors picked up these cool little statues last time they were in Africa helping the orphans. It was definitely the coolest prizes I have ever won.

Inside the cave at the top of the mountain we hiked to. It got pretty narrow and it was FREEZING inside. Like 32 degrees. There was ice. Brrrr.

One of my best friends from camp had to go to MD Anderson in Houston for a scan and possible surgery about a month ago. She was nervous because this is a recurrence of her cancer. I made her a care package and I was so excited to send it :) You know those presents you just can't wait to give people? This was one of those times. I made her a Build-a-Bear and put in her favorite candy and cereal and some things to help pass the time while she was there. She lives in Tennessee so she had to stay at the hospital for a week. Luckily she doesn't have to get surgery! She just has to do chemo for a while.

I love her :) I love all the friends I met there! Such amazing and inspiring people. They know what really matters in life.

So I also decided that I am moving to Thailand next year because guess what?! I will be done with treatment in NOVEMBER!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! I am so happy and excited! I thought I was going to have to stay on treatment until next July and I was super bummed and really really sad. But my doctor said it'd be dumb to stay on it that long because the side effects are worse than the slight minuscule benefit that we might possibly have by staying on it any longer. So that means I will be free soon! My mom says "No you need to stay and work" Why? Why does society say that? I am 23. I have the REST OF MY LIFE to work. Someday I will probably have a family. I will never be single and young again. Why do I have to stay here and work? I don't. I don't have to do what society expects me to. I can have fun adventures right now. And I'm going to. Probably even as recently as a year and a half ago I would have talked about something like this, but I never would have actually been "irresponsible" enough to do it. But I realize now after what I have experienced in life, that a bucket list should be more than a wish list. How many people actually accomplish very much on their bucket list? Probably next to none. I've accomplished a lot. And I fully intend to do more. 

Life is an adventure that is meant to be lived

Adventure: an exciting or unusual experience. A risky undertaking with an uncertain outcome

For my adventures this upcoming month I have planned to do a trail Ragnar race at Snowbasin, spend a week in Lake Powell, do a sprint triathalon and hike King's Peak in two days. 

No more rambling. Go, live your dream! 

(ten points to anyone who knows what that quote is from!)

Year for the Hall of Fame

Yesterday was my birthday!! I turned 23. Since that is Michael Jordan's basketball jersey number, that must mean this is going to be a lucky year...one that will go in the Hall of Fame for greatness. Right? That's at least what I keep telling myself.

 

I didn't actually do a whole lot to celebrate my "Michael Jordan" birthday. But last weekend I went to Las Vegas to visit my Aunt Debbie and my cousins Mackay and Alyssa. It was so much fun! I loved driving down by myself. Just a nice quiet car with me, myself and I. I listened to Inkheart book on CD. The weather was perfect. Not too hot and way better than the weather in Salt Lake. I heard it was pouring rain and freezing. My aunt had all sorts of things planned to keep me busy. I got a desperately needed haircut--I was seriously starting to look like Shaggy from Scooby Doo, I got a super nice pedicure, laid out by the pool, volunteered at a 5k for Dress for Success (a company that helps clothe needy women professionally so they can get a job), read a book, and went out to Lake Las Vegas for a free jazz concert and picnic. It was so nice to get away and have a fun weekend without anything to worry or stress about. My favorite thing was the picnic. I LOVE picnics. It's probably one of my favorite summer activities. Plus it was gorgeous by the lake. It was fun spending time with that side of my family because I don't get to see them all that often. I wish I would have taken more pictures but I kept forgetting :(

I of course remembered to take pictures of the chocolate "pizza" from Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory though. It was divine. The "crust" was dark chocolate and the toppings were rice krispies, marshmallows, peanut butter and chocolate chips all covered in white chocolate. To. Die. For. Literally....I probably clogged all my arteries eating it.

I am really liking having short hair. It is fun and spunky and different. I don't know if I'll grow it long again or not.

Yesterday for my birthday I woke up bright and early. At 5:30am to be exact. I wanted to go running before I had to be to work at 7:30. I dragged my dad out of bed to go with me. It was a gorgeous morning. Not cold at all like I thought it would be. I love running.

Unfortunately the flash made me all whited out, but you get the idea

After work I went shopping with my mom for new running shoes. I've been needing some for like 4 months. For dinner my mom made me Thai food! YUM. I love Thai food. It's probably my new favorite type of food. Ever since Thailand that is. We had green curry chicken, vegetable stirfry and the best part...mango sticky rice.

After dinner we went to my brother Caden's band concert at Butler Middle. I was expecting a squeaky eardrum splitting performance but they were incredible!! I enjoyed listening to them, it was great. And of course to top of the night I had cake and blew out a candle :) But I can't tell you what I wished for or else it won't come true!!

Today I went hiking with Cesia. Hiking is my other favorite summer activity. I LOVE hiking and being in the mountains. Koda had fun coming with us too. Like his cute saddle bags?? :)  They're a little big for him, but it worked.

I love summer :) I love the sun and being hot and hiking and picnics and running and mountains and getting in a hot car.

Thanks everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday and made me feel special. Such a simple thing really made my day.

Here's to a fun summer and hopefully a year full of goodness and joy and happy things!

Snow

This week we went snowshoeing lots! Three days in a row. The first day it was just me and Sterling and the doggies, then we went with Cesia and her husband Chris and Thursday we went with my friends Selma and Ellen from high school! It was so fun! I love the mountains and the snow makes them so pretty. It is really fun getting to hang out with friends that I haven't talked to or seen in forever. Ellen and I were best friends in junior high, but we haven't really talked much since, so it was really cool to catch up. Maybe soon I can start running with her and Selma as they train for a marathon.....ick haha.

Koda got a coat and booties because the first time we took him he got cold and his paws started hurting

Today my mom and I baked goodies ALL day. We made like 500 batches of caramel popcorn, some pretzel/rolo turtles, homemade Almond Joys, gluten free M&M cookies, and chocolate mint Rice Krispies. Holy moley! I made 60+ bags of caramel popcorn to take with me to chemo on Monday. I am really excited. I love giving things to people there, it makes them so happy.

Popcorn galore!

Koda has been limping around since Friday morning. We aren't sure why :( It is really sad. We wrapped him up so he wouldn't put it weight on it and hopefully he will heal up faster. Poor little buddy.

Well, I can't wait for Christmas!!!!!!!!!!! Can't wait to get treatment Monday because then I will be almost done! AH! I want hair on my head again. I'm over the bald thing.

Hiking

I don't have much to write about this week! Pretty un-eventful week for me. I did have an awesome day Wednesday, I got to go up to Salt Lake and hang out with my friend Cesia. We went hiking in the hills behind Red Butte Gardens and then had a picnic. I love picnics, they are one of my favorite things to do. The weather has been so beautiful! I love it. But I do wish the mountains would get a little more snow so I could go skiing.

Unfortunately my eyes are closed, but this is our picnic!

I always forget that I am much more tired on the weeks I get all three chemo drugs. I haven't been running at all, but I have gone on a hike or walk every day! Running has been a little too frustrating for me because it is so hard and my stomach along my incision hurts when I do it. So I decided instead of getting discouraged and frustrated I would just do other things that are fun :) I love to hike, so I've had a great time with that.

Today Sterling and I went hiking in the hills behind his house. It was hard! Seriously like straight up hill the whole time almost! But it was really fun and we got pretty high. Next time I want to go all the way to the peak. We went until we ran into a dead end in the trail we were on. Koda is a little hiking champ! He loves going with us.

I know pictures without people are boring, but it was so pretty.

Trey found this lovely pile of bones for us

Monday brings another treatment! Only five more to go, can you believe it?! It seems like it has gone pretty fast for the most part. My hair started falling out this week :( Bummer. You can't tell yet, but it has begun. Ah well, it will come back again. 

My friend Jennifer shared this scripture on her blog and I really love it:

1 Peter 1:7  That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire (or cancer, or fill in the blank), might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ.

I especially like it because I was reminded this week through other experiences that all trials are for our good. At the beginning of my journey I had a great eternal perspective. I haven't lost that, but sometimes it gets clouded over and I forget. I was glad to be reminded that in the long run, I am going to be so much stronger of a person and so much more ready for my future because of what I am going through right now. I know that trials really are blessings. In disguise. Some are more disguised than others :)

Shenanigans: Friends, Chemo, etc.

Last Wednesday I got to come up to Salt Lake and have lunch with some old friends from my neighborhood. We have known each other since elementary and haven't really hung out since high school. It was so much fun seeing them again and catching up!

We had a hard time getting a picture where all three of us looked good. I think we took like 20 and these are the only 2 that we liked :)

After lunch Cesia and I went back to her house. I got to play with and feed her chickens!! Who knew that chickens were really soft and they are actually fairly smart! We also made a craft. It was so fun.

I am so lucky to have great friends. Thank you Cesia for being there for me and being so much fun! Even though we didn't hang out for almost 4 years its like it was yesterday :) Love that.

On Saturday I went waterskiing in the morning at my dad's lake. It was gorgeous! I mean look at this picture, it was such a beautiful peaceful morning.

I got a little frustrated because I got tired so much faster than usual and it just ached all through my body. So I had a good cry and then I was fine and went a little longer, but I was pretty tired. Then I got to go to another one of my good friend from high school's wedding reception. She looked beautiful and they had a chocolate fountain for refreshments :) yummmmm.

The coolest thing I did last week though was a chocolate making class! My mom found an AmazonLocal Deal for it and signed us up a while back. I learned so much there! It was really cool because it was just a small little shop run by 2 guys. It is called The Chocolate Conspiracy. It is an artisan organic all natural chocolate company. I didn't really get to take any pictures while we were there because he just did a demonstration while we watched and there were a lot of people.

I learned a ton about cacao (cocoa..same thing, different spelling). How its grown and how it is eventually made into chocolate. I learned why Hershey's chocolate tastes like wax and kind of gross (they put wax and gross things in it). He only buys cacao beans directly from the farmers and only if they grind it at the farm themselves. He says that way he knows its organic and natural and hasn't been shipped all over the world and gotten gross bugs and diseases. Ghana is the main producer of cacao. Cacao grows 20 degrees north and south of the equator and it grows all year long. So there is no "off" season for it, yay chocolate is always in season!

French chocolate tends to be very roasted (the cacao beans are). It is also fatty and creamy. Italian chocolate tends to be very viscous and smooth. And American chocolate (the new nice chocolate, not Hershey's, Mars, etc.) tends to be simple and of a medium roast. The Chocolate Conspiracy doesn't roast their beans at all. They prefer the more simple and natural flavor. Also, roasting the beans kills some of the vitamins and healthy stuffs in it. He also doesn't add any sugar. He uses either organic honey or pure maple sugar to sweeten it.

We got to try 7 different chocolates while we were there. I was super surprised by them! Last time I tried fancy artisan dark chocolate it was incredibly bitter and tasted really dry and not creamy or smooth. His dark chocolate only has three ingredients: cacao beans, cacao butter and honey. It was pretty good!! Not bitter at all and pretty smooth! We tried dark chocolate, dark chocolate mint, gogi berry, blueberry pistachio, spicy, a hand-rolled coconut truffle and a balsamic vinegar. My favorites were the dark chocoolate, the blueberry pistachio and the truffle. The truffle was AMAZING!!!!!!!! Holy crap I almost died. And then yesterday I made them with my mom!! Coconut oil, cocoa powder and 100% pure maple syrup. That's it. Freakin delicious.

Yesterday I had chemo again in the morning. This time I slept through pretty much the whole thing after the Benadryl! Usually it knocks me out for like 20-30 minutes and then I wake up and do stuff the rest of the time. But not yesterday. Maybe it is starting to get to me....who knows.

Wore the pink wig to chemo :) I think everyone loved it! 

After chemo we went to my house and went on a short hike in the Dimpledell area. It was really pretty! And quite hot. I invited Gizmo (my parent's dog) and he almost died. Poor little guy, he is out of shape! It was funny. We had to carry him a few times haha. Good thing he's so small! Sterling says we have enough pictures of us hiking, but here is another one anyway :)

Remember everyone to sign up for the Fallen in Chocolate 5k!!! Go to http://runnercard.com/e/runner.Main?meet=4310 to register. It is going to be awesome, you won't want to miss out :) There are lots of people on Facebook who have said they are going but haven't signed up yet....hurry and do it so we can order the shirts!