Sometimes life sucks. Like really sucks. And there's nothing you can do it about but just square up your shoulders and press on. Like I said in the title of this post....the end of something good is often the beginning of something great. I would not be able to handle my life if it wasn't for my faith in God. I don't share my testimony very often, but in this case, I really have to. I know that I'm going to be okay. I know without a doubt that my God has something incredible in store for me. Something so great I can't even comprehend it. I know that He wants me to be happy even more than I want myself to be happy. I don't know why I've had to experience the trials I've been given. With cancer the blessings were often immediate and easy to see. With this, the blessings are still in hiding :) But I do have faith that when I'm 95, on a long run on a beautiful morning, I will look back on my life and be so grateful that things turned out the way they did. For a while I decided that happy endings were a myth, a lie people have made up. But its not true. I still believe in Happily Ever After. I believe in Happily Ever Now. I don't have to wait for the future to be happy. I can be, and I am, happy right now. Believe me, I have hard days. But I have more good days than hard days. I will always be a fighter, I will never give up.
Life can try to swallow me up, but like this awesome little frog, I'll choke it's neck until it spits me back out again :) Haha.
Put your shoulder to the wheel......push along, with a heart full of song. It'd be stupid to give up. To give in to sadness and let life pass me by? That'd be such a waste of a great life! President Thomas S. Monson, prophet of the LDS church, said, "The future is as bright as your faith". Man are those words true. I have faith. I need faith. You can't always see what lies ahead of you. Sometimes that is really hard. But God can, and He knows how much joy the future will bring me. I definitely trust Him. He knows what he's doing.
So I've buckled up, grabbed my safety goggles, put my helmet on and I'm ready for the ride. There are so many opportunities out there for me now that I never could have had before. I am so young. I have my whole life ahead of me. And I want to do great things. On my bucket list is the item "Do something really great". I'm trying to accomplish that. When I wrote it on my list I was imagining something big and flashy like saving a life or going to a foreign country and building a school or something. But I've learned over the past year that the greatest people are the ones who live their life doing simple things every day that help people. Being great isn't one big huge act. It's living every day in a way that blesses others.
Today is the day I have been given. Yesterday is over. And you never know if you will be given tomorrow. So I'm choosing to make today the best I can. Sometimes I fail :) But I have an incredible family, awesome friends, and an amazing ward family that stands by my side. There have been things about this whole situation that have been harder than others. But when it comes down to it I have to remind myself that it doesn't matter what anyone in this world thinks of me, it really only matters what God thinks of me. And if I feel that He is okay with me, then I know I'm alright.
"Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God." Ether 12:4, Book of Mormon
|This quote is perfect, since I just celebrated my "Michael Jordan" birthday :)|
I know when I've told people what's going on they get super awkward and don't know what to say or how to act or what to do. Honestly, you can say whatever you want. If you want to bring it up and ask me how I'm doing that is just fine. If you'd rather ignore it and talk about other things in life, that is fine too. Mostly I just need people to hug me and tell me they're sorry for me and let me know its going to be okay.
It has been so hard to ask about your marriage. As I sit behind a computer screen and read the story of your life. This is Floyd. I don't know why it marks me and Unknown. But it does. I am known and love you very much. As I can tell in your writing I know that God loves you. Be strong and know that I care about you and pray for your continued well being. Life is beautiful. It is hard at times but there is a way for all of us to get back to Him. There are many people that want you to win. You are a fighter and a winner. Love you!ReplyDelete
I'm so sorry. I wish I could hug you - so, next time I'm in Utah, I will. If that's ok! :) Seems like decades ago you were a little girl in my Mia Maid class. Now you are a strong and amazing woman who inspires me with every blog post. Thank you for your faith and honesty; it has truly blessed my life!ReplyDelete
P.S. For how you seem to have approached and endured every trial in your life thus far, I can't imagine things not turning out ok for you. The sucky thing is that it's going to be...well, sucky for awhile. I definitely know that God loves you and has a plan for you. And as far as things turning out ok, I should have said that between your strength, and the love of others and God, life won't just "turn out" ok - you'll make it ok. Great, even. YOU are such a powerful force for good! Little old you! ;)ReplyDelete
Again, You are awesome! You will be fine. I love how life is so malleable and you can always start fresh today :) thanks for sharing your thoughts and some of my favorite scriptures!ReplyDelete
You sweet girl. I don't know how much it helps in a time like this but you are so so loved. Please come hang out with us soon! And thanks for being honest and also being open to people asking. I want you to feel safe and know that your friends love you and just want to be with you. Love you sweet girl and if you can't come to us soon can we come to you?ReplyDelete
Also, when I read this I couldn't help but think of how proud we all are of you. Both on this side of the veil and the other side. I am so proud to call you my dear friend.ReplyDelete
You say you don't bear your testimony often - but you do. You do every day of your life. It is so obvious that you are a woman of great faith, of great love, of great endurance, of great hope. You have learned so much this last year that I am amazed at your ability to absorb and recognize all the blessings that have come. I am glad you like hugs, because I do too. I don't know if it is because I like to hug, or because I need hugs. You are truly an elect daughter of God - a great example to all of us. I love you, margaret xoxoxoxoReplyDelete
You are so inspiring and make me want to fight the fight against cancer with more faith and positivity. Some days I do this successfully, other days I don't. I know we've never met, but you are in my prayers! Everything WILL be okay!ReplyDelete
I've still been following your blog since randomly messaging you months ago. I meant to comment recently to tell you that I thought your hair was adorable... Anyway, reading this nearly put me in tears. I'm so sorry that you hit this jolt in the road. I can't begin to imagine how you are feeling, but I wish you the best in your new beginnings.ReplyDelete
My word Kalina! You are one incredible, remarkable girl. Know that we love you and are cheering for you. You are totally right, heavenly father has some big pans for you! I'd love to see you and the old crew again. Let meer know pdf you ever go visit. :)ReplyDelete
We really love you. We are so sorry to have watched this unfold. It breaks our hearts. We wish you the best in everything and are really inspired by your constant optimism and cheerfulness. We know you do have great things in store. What a legacy you have lived already. You have a lot of wisdom and perspective that many people never, ever gain. You are an incredible example. I'm sure Heavenly Father looks down on you with so much pride, and so much love and sympathy. I'm glad we have gotten to know you the little we have. You are definitely touching lives for good. Our love and admiration,
Ellery, BJ, and Ellie Pugmire
You are amazing, never forget that! What a privilege it is to read your blog and know you through Jake.ReplyDelete
Kalina, I can't imagine how hard life is right now. I am so sorry. Please know that your strength has influenced me in a lot of ways and I am so grateful. You are truly such a special person! Thank you for your courage and example.ReplyDelete
Yo Kalina your blog is tight. I dont know how I got on it haha but i just started cruisin the internet and i ended up here and i got hooked haha. But real talk I have some maddddddddd props for you girl. we need to be catchin up soon and havin a sit down. aka lunch we used to be thick as thievvvvvvves. text me asap 303-552-1225 i know all the good eateries so it'll be worth it. I would text you but i dont have your number soooo i cant but im serious you better hit me upReplyDelete
love peace and chicken grease