Sunday, March 10, 2013

New Normal

It has been AGES since I wrote a blog post. I know. I'm sorry. It's like my journal, I am sooooo good at it for months and months and then all the sudden I fall out of the habit and can't get back into it. Mostly I just got busy and then when I wanted to write about something I didn't have pictures for it so I thought it'd be too boring to write about. But this blog is my journal now and I know I'm going to want to write things down so I can read back over them later or maybe, just maybe, my future kids might want to read it. Who knows.

I got a job about 2 weeks ago! I only work Monday, Wedneday and Friday but I feel so busy and I haven't had time to write. Okay I obviously have all day on Tuesday or Thursday or Saturday or Sunday but......I feel like I have been busy haha. I am working as a physical therapy aide at Performance Rehab Clinic in Draper of 12300 S. I work from 7:30am to 2:30 or 3pm. Then I change into my running clothes and run from work and then I get home around 4:30ish. I have been having a ton of fun and I really am enjoying what I do. I definitely don't do it for the pay...but it is great experience and I like it which is important.

I wrote at the beginning of February that I was finally feeling back to normal......I must have forgotten what "normal" felt like because now at the beginning of March I am realizing that even just a month ago I was far from normal! I cannot believe how much different I feel now! I didn't realize it until I went skiing yesterday and I was able to ski all day, hard, without needing a break every 5 minutes or feeling like I was going to die. I didn't remember that you shouldn't feel like you are going to collapse after one really hard run. I didn't remember what it felt like to be able to breathe without feeling sick to my stomach. I didn't remember that when I go running I shouldn't feel like I'm going to pass out after 15 minutes. All of these things I am able to do lately and it is so incredible!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel AMAZING. I can wake up at 6:30 in the morning and function all day. I can stay up till midnight without becoming a zombie (I mean I'm still an early to bed kind of gal but if needed, I can stay up). I am back up to running 5 1/2 to 6 1/2 miles a day. Two Saturdays ago I ran for 7 miles! And I did 41 minutes without stopping. On Friday I ran the last three miles of my six mile run at an under 8 min/mile pace :) I seriously did not realize how tired I had been the past 8 months of my life. Maybe even longer. I think the cancer in me was making me fatigued even before I started chemo.

I am so incredibly grateful every single day for my health and my body and my energy. I sometimes want to cry because I feel SO much better I can't even comprehend it. My hair is finally a cute length. I can style it cute and in the next month or so I can probably even get a hair cut! Never thought I'd be excited to be able to have a hair cut haha.

I titled this post "new normal" because even though I am feeling "normal", normal will never be the same for me. I have really struggled with some of the after effects of cancer. Like having a 10 inch scar down my stomach that makes it all lumpy and misshapen. And having a weird belly button that I have to clean out (who cleans their belly button?) And having the metabolism of a post-menopausal lady. Just things that I am learning to live with and accept. Some days I do better than other days, just like anyone. Although I do think that surgeons should have to take a semester's worth of plastic surgery courses. Just sayin' ;)

My brother Josh has been in the MTC for 12 days now. He is really enjoying it and sounds so happy. I've only heard from him twice but both times he just sounded like he was enjoying it a lot. He got to give his first priesthood blessing this last week and he got to use my cancer story to help an investigator he was teaching :) I am glad he's doing well. He seems to really be flourishing. He leaves for the field in California on Tuesday. My sister-in-law leaves for her mission on Wednesday. SO crazy. She's really excited too.

Okay I have like 3 more posts I need to write this week so come back for more updates :) Sorry this post was so much talk and so little pictures, not as much fun to read, I know, but it's stuff I gotta say, at least for myself.

P.S. That last sentence had four commas. Pretty sure any English teacher would kill me.


  1. Kalina,

    5 things:

    1. i love you!
    2. you looked gorgeous today.
    3. i feel lucky to know you.
    4. i love these updates on your blog
    5. i can't believe how far you have come! it makes me so happy.

    the end.

  2. You sound so happy - you are awesome - and I am so excited about Josh. I remember when he was little and Grete Jensen was the one who would calm him down. His mission will be such a blessing to you, but also to your whole family. Your job, your running, your skiing - I am glad you can do it, but reading about it makes me tired. Love you, xoxo


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